Change is a difficult thing for me. Not so much the changing itself, really…it’s deciding to make the change that’s difficult. I’m notorious for thinking and considering, researching and dithering forever before I make a decision - usually very quietly and privately - and then, once my decision is made, whipping through the change itself in record time. I might take months - years, even - to make a decision about something, but once my mind’s made up, I dont’ waste time on my execution.
Ten years ago now, I spend months thinking about what to do with my life - whether to stay in my hometown or move away, stay in school or leave and start working. I went back and forth and back again before I decided what to do.
Sometimes I forget that just because I’ve been thinking about something for a long time doesn’t mean that anyone else is privy to what’s been going on in my head. Everyone around me was shocked when I “suddenly” decided to leave school and move to DC. Even though it had been in the works for ages, from my perspective (since the thinking and deciding is 95% of the work for me), from the time I announced that I was going to move to the time I was settled into an apartment and a new job was less than two weeks and left more than one person reeling a bit in surprise.
No, I’m not making any big announcement here. I’m just…thinking.